Day 14: Honor to us all?

Significant moment of the day: Befriending the cashier at Subway.

It was great. He gave me a rewards card shaped like a sandwich and also took two dollars off of the purchase. He also complimented me on my choices for "fixins". To be fair, it was 1 am in the morning, and if i had to make people's sandwiches at such an hour I'd probably be chipper too. I was also wearing starshaped sunglasses and blasting disney soundtracks out of my ipod...to see if it would phase the sandwich artist. It didn't.

And they say chivalry is dead.

Speaking of disney....
Opinion of the day: D is for delusional, I is for insane, S is for Stolkholm, N is for necrophilia, E is for emotional and Y is for Your childhood memories slightly changed?......... Princess.

Its funny how watching old disney movies, you pick up on things you would've never noticed as a 6 year old. Most are sexual innuendos, but on occasion a diagnosis is in order. Interestingly enough, these only seem to happen in Disney Princess movies and the trend continues in newer films such as Tangled, & Princess and the Frog. In fact, I will make the argument that every disney princess has a mental/behavioral disorder or physical condition. Let's do this...

Snow White (Snow White) - Coma

Cinderella (Cinderella) - Perthes disease during childhood (freakishly small feet)

Aurora (Sleeping beauty) - Narcolepsy (she also trusts strangers... which is a party foul)

Ariel (The Little Mermaid)- Hoarding

Belle (Beauty and the Beast)- Stockholm syndrome

Pocahontas (Pocahontas)- Schizophrenia 

Giselle (Enchanted)- ADHD

Tiana (Princess and the Frog)- Workaholism

Rapunzel (Tangled)-Agoraphobia

I left out Jasmine because in the other movies I listed, the disney princess is the primary role and not just the love interest. But if i had to diagnose her I'd say bipolar... she runs reeeally hot and cold. I also didn't include Mulan because she is considered an "honorary princess" in the Disney franchise since she technically has no royal claims but is still considered a role model to young girls. She also has no outward flaws like the ones I listed aside from dressing up like a warrior to save her family... but that's just awesome. Maybe if she was a full fledged princess Disney would've made her cross-dressing a chronic condition. Nevermind.

Anyways it's weird. Especially because the lead male roles in disney movies which marry or are royalty do not have similar conditions. Hercules' flaw is he gives up his superstrength to save the girl he loves for one day, Aladdin is trying to become rich and a prince, Kuzco is selfish, Robin Hood steals from the rich to feed the poor. ALL OF THESE ISSUES ARE RESOLVED BY THE END OF THE MOVIE.


Rapunzel overcomes her fear of the outside (otherwise it wouldve been a very boring movie). Snow White and Sleeping Beauty's are kind of solved except Snow White's prince has a tendency to kiss people in coffins and Sleeping Beauty STILL trusts strangers. But aside from that, Belle is still with her captor, Tiana works her ass off to get her restaurant off the ground, Pocahontas is still talking to trees, Giselle's running around NYC, I assume Ariel found some place to hoard crap in that castle, and Cinderella still has freakishly small feet.

So the main question is why do Disney princesses need a flaw? I'm not even going to put out that EVERY disney princess must be married by the end of the movie or have a male counterpart to live happily ever after with while the disney males can ride off into the sunset without a "how do you do". I'm also not going to include that there have only been two lead females in disney movies who haven't been princesses (aside from Mulan)...Lady (the cocker spaniel from Lady and the Tramp) and Lilo (from Lilo and Stitch). As you can see, even then they share the title with the male lead role.

In conclusion, Mulan is clearly the victor because she's not a princess and therefore doesn't have a chronic condition, she doesn't share her movie title with anyone and she is not a dog or a small child.

Mulan brought honor to us all.