Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Day 47: Cinnamoney is the bank.

Significant moment of the day: I survived without coffee for more than 24 hours

So... for those who know me well, you know that coffee is pretty much oxygen to me. I came to the realization i was an addict when I realized that at night, I was excited to drink my coffee for the morning. Anyways, my name is Laura and I made it more than 24 hours without a cup of coffee. I honestly couldn't tell you why I did it? Maybe proving I wasn't an addict. I don't think thats the case but i did drink about 4 cups of cinnamon tea today. For the record? Delicious. I smell something new for my breakfast drink of choice.... and it smells like cinnamon.

Day 46: I present my foot in my mouth

Significant moment of the day: Anatomy presentations

Much less fun than the name implies...my group and I presented the hand/wrist joints. while the presentation was overall pretty good, I did not do so well. I don't know what it is about class presentations, but I manage to speak so fast that light (as in speed of light) asks me to slow down. Oh well, I rocked the carpal tunnel syndrome slides. *sigh. I guess we figured out why Laura isn't a teacher.

Day 45: I take a stand

Significant moment of the day: Taking a stand against Valentine's day.

How? I didn't go to my 3:00 writing class. Why? Because we were going to make Valentines. So take that Hallmark. I won't play your games. Instead, I watched Big Bang Theory, ate pierogies and leisurely made my way to French Revolution class. A much better way to spend my time.

Day 44: F*ck You, 5th floor....my apologies

Significant moment of the day: Accidentally blasting Cee Lo Green on the 5th floor of the library

For those who go to IC and have been to the fifth floor of the library, you know that to even sneeze up there guarantees you dirty looks. Well, blasting the song Fuck You by Cee Lo Green by accident...doesn't earn you ANY brownie points. Here's the thing. I left my phone on the table i was working on when i went to the bathroom. I also forgot to put it on silent..and turn off the alarm i had set to make sure i was staying on task. My alarm? Is the lovely Cee Lo song. Needless to say, returning from the bathroom i heard a familiar sound, found my phone and turned a lovely shade of red out of embarrassment. Once again residents of the fifth floor...I am sorry.

Day 43: I high fived a clown!

Significant moment of the day: Dance for Courage marathon!

This past saturday night, I spent 10 pm to 3:30 pm dancing in the Fitness Center to raide money for kids with cancer to go to Camp Good Days in New York. To be fair, I was supposed to be a volunteer..but they didn't need me after an hour so I joined in the party. I had an amazing time dancing like a fool, starting dance trends (we made a bridge) and the best part was it was for an amazing cause. It was a great night.

Day 42: The sweetest thing

Significant moment of the day: Ordering a cookie cake at Wegman's that said "Happy Birthday Sailor Jupiter"... much to the baker's consternation.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Day 41: The un-sugary side of the Necco conversation heart.

Significant moment of the day: A Non-Valentines Day Valentines day package from home

Today, I received a package from home from my mom. It was very lovely containing brownies with cookie dough in them (fantastic btw), a lovely card, twenty bucks and.....necco conversation hearts. Aka, it must have been a Valentines day package. However, since I do not celebrate holidays sponsored by Hallmark, I made an effort not to look at any of the sugar dipped messages that proclaim phrases like "text me!". Therefore, the sweetheart candies would remain little candy hearts and nothing more than a sugary snack.

Sorry, Mom. But I did love the package!
If I ate every sugary candy that proposed to me..I'd be diabetic by now.
Also if you think it's romantic to propose via candy, you best propose to Betty Crocker

The top 10 worst Necco heart messages.

Don't worry... there will be a rant about Valentines day. Just wait for Monday.

10. Nature Lover.
Well... that's nice. But did you really need to print that on a heart?

9. Bite me.
So apparently there are twilight Necco's now. This is a particularly worrisome one. But actually the most fitting considering it IS candy.

8. Fax me
Oh hey 1982... haven't seen you in a while...

7. Get my drift
First of all it's 'catch my drift'. Second...no.

6. Chill out.
Why is this a romantic conversation heart? If only my man would tell me chill out via candy heart on V-Day. swoon.

5. Homesick.
Once again... why is this one?

4. I hope.
For what?

3. And.
umm.........

2. Blank
because 'AND' took so much effort to come up with....

1. Do good.
No. This grammatically incorrect. I do not approve of candy that fails basic grammar. No wonder people think good and well are interchangeable words. Stupid Necco.

Useless...simply useless.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Day 40: The crappy parts of college

Significant moment of the day: Helping with a toilet transfer of an 80 year old woman.

There are days where my career feels less than glamorous. But today, it was in the toilet. Because when its a Wednesday at 9 am and you have to assist your supervisor in transferring someone from their wheelchair onto the toilet, you seriously contemplate your career goals. Oh well. In my next life I better come back as something cool. Like a laser dolphin.

Day 39: Oh Anatomy, how I haven't missed you.

Significant Moment of the Day: Studying for 6 hours...for a quiz in Anatomy.

Here's the thing about Anatomy. In every other class, a quiz would merit probably 2 hours MAX for studying. But for anatomy...its more like 2 days. Because not only do you need to know the physiology of metabolism (for the record, really don't care), you need to know insertions, origins, innervations and locations for every muscle of the body.

Also in every other class, getting an 80 would be kind of a letdown. In anatomy? I jumped for frickin joy. Ohhhh how I hate this class. It makes me feel like one of those gorilla's you knows how to sign for grapes. In conclusion, throw me a  bone (I could tell you every marker on that stupid bone AND all the muscles that connect on it) because Anatomy is not my strong suit.

Day 38: One fine day for disappointment.

Day 38: Had my second interview for the summer job I want, and probably bombed it.


I also had a pop quiz in history, and probably bombed it. But on the bright side I bought One Fine Day for $5. So it turned up a little bit!

For you see, my theory was today was a not so Fine Day. BUT! by buying One Fine Day, then maybe I could tip the scales, think positively and have One Fine Day tomorrow. Eh? Eh? Yea...it didn't work but it was a shot.

Day 37: I'll toast to not being an octopus.

Significant moment of the day: uhh....PACKERS WIN THE SUPERBOWL!

Did I not predict it? Did i not? Day 23: I predict they will win. Day 16: I predicted the superbowl would be between The Steelers and The Packers. What up?! I'm like that octopus predicting the world cup outcomes. Only I have feet and if i predicted wrong I would possibly be killed. Yay Humans! Except not really.

Day 36: Taking photos in a blizzard. One of our favorite pastimes.

Significant moment of the day: Not one, but two photo shoots in a blizzard

Day 35: what up cornell?

Significant moment of the day: First frat party of the semester!

Day 34: Where are the lesbeanss? Grocery shopping meets one flew over the cuckoo's nest

Significant moment of the day: Acting like an insane lesbian at Wegmans

Day 33: Poor Ithaca

Significant moment of the day: Having a school delay til noon due to snow...with no snow

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Day 32: if i don't survive i love you.

Significant moment of the day: Time traveling.

It's true. Today, I time-traveled. To 3 years ago, when I was in high school and had to check local news for school closings. To my surprise, the trip went off successfully, and I was rewarded with a school delay until noon. I still have my three classes in the afternoon, but at least I can sleep late right? Magical. simply magical. Except the part where I almost died in my car tonight because the roads were terrible. I mean I didn't actually die, there was only one moment I lost control of the car and gracefully landed in a snowbank at the beginning of an intersection. But still. I actually sent a text message to my brothers and parents. It was this:
The roads are terrible and i have to drive back to campus. if i don't survive i love you. 

If you think I'm lying you can check my phone. Its there.

Which leads me to my discussion of the day: Famous last words.

Evidently I'm on a death streak? Little different than the Disney streak, but hey...its all good. Anyways instead of rambling about how I try to be unique by not using the term "bucket list" for a list of things I want to accomplish before I die, I thought this lovely post could be the top ten BEST famous last words.

So Ithacans, since you have a delay tomorrow (til noon at least), read up, enjoy, and sleep in.

TOP TEN BEST FINAL WORDS:
10. Well gentleman, you're about to see a baked appel. George Appel 1928
9. Am I dying, or is it my birthday? Nancy Astor 1964
8. Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something. Pancho Villa 1923
7. Now comes the mystery. Henry Ward Beecher 1887
6. Don't disturb my circles! Archimedes 212 B.C.
5. That was the best ice cream soda I ever tasted. Lou Costello 1959
4. I've had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that's the record... Dylan Thomas 1953
3. They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-. John Sedgewick 1864
2. Either that wallpaper goes, or I do. Oscar Wilde 1900

annnnd the best final words are....

1. I'm about to-or I am going to-die. Either expression is correct. Dominique Bouhours 1702

This is clearly the victor because grammar is my favorite. Also, if that text was my last message it would've sucked. Must keep in mind for next near death experience...

Monday, January 31, 2011

Day 31: Rick Astley tells it like it is.

Significant moment of the day: Became an honorary member of the Selwick Spy School, Class of 1803.


"To Laura, Honorary member of the Selwick Spy School Class of 1803! I hope you enjoy the other Laura's story. All best, Lauren Willig"


Boo-Yah! My signed copy came with my tote bag! *happy dance. Yes, I'm a nerd. For those who do not know, I recently won third place in a contest on one of my favorite author's websites by designing a tote bag to commemorate her new book. As a result, I won (seen in the statement above) a signed copy of the new book which came out ten days ago, and a tote bag with my design on it. Hence, the happy dance. I'm really excited to start reading it! Also as promised, if you read the Pink Carnation series and you voted for me on Lauren Willig's website, you can borrow the book if you would like!


Okay. SO for the past 4 or 5 days, I haven't been able to keep up with the posts. I apologize. I know how much people rely on my calming and always insightful thoughts such as literature and classy television such as Saved by the Bell. But I needed a few days to regain my bearings from returning to school, being sick, blah blah blah. Point being...


I will never give you up...
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
This pretty much sums up how I feel about you guys.
In summary, there may be days where I do not include an opinion, musing, or idea. BUT: I will always make an effort to post my significant moment of the day. AND if i see a post without a blurb generally complaining about one thing or another, I will try and go back and fill it if i have a lot to say in one day (keeping it topically sound of course). OVERALL: by the end of this year, there will be 365 significant moments, and 365 thoughts. So don't fear. 

SO that is another significant moment of the day/ opinion of the day: I crossed an item off my TTDBID list...not my bucket list.

So in lieu of the posts I have been missing, clearly I need to organize my life better. Don't worry, i'm working on it. Anyways, speaking of things to do, when I received my book and tote bag today, I realized that I had inadvertently crossed a task off my "Things to Do before I die" List. 

One of the tasks on my TTBID list is to sell something I created. I created the design for the tote bag I just received. Others can also purchase my design. Lauren Willig had to purchase said design off of Cafe Press in order to send it to me. Ergo, I have successfully created something that is sold. To be fair, I didn't receive money for it. But In the end its kind of neat thinking that one day i'll be walking around a city and see my bag. Its a long shot, but its still a neat thought. 

Anyways, now the reason why I call my list the Things to do before I Die List" instead of the Bucket list.

So everyone has a bucket list, right? Well, I made my 'list' starting around age 12. Therefore, I didn't join that Jack Nicholson/Morgan Freeman bandwagon of calling it a Bucket list. Similar to how those born this year now have to calculate the 13th zodiac symbol into horoscopes, but everyone else sticks with the 12, I refuse to call my list the 'Bucket List'. Instead, I say my "Things to do before I die" (TTDBID) list Yes, 'Bucket List' is much quicker to say and write. But at what cost? Creativity. I think not Jack Nicholson. I think not.

Because everyone has a bucket list. But how many people have a TTBID list besides me? Exactly. Yes, I may be stubborn..but at least its unique, right? Another way of looking at it, is that everyone has a bucket, yes? But how often does anyone have a memo pad that says "Things to Do Before I die"? I would say hardly ever.  For the record, if someone finds a memo pad that says that....buy me one. I will reimburse you. Because that is pretty awesome. 

Case and point.

Day 30: For once, breakfast was the significant meal of the day

Significant moment of the day: Seeing a friend I haven't seen in a year and a half...instead of in 2 years.

This morning I had breakfast with my friend Hannah in the commons. Generally eating breakfast isn't a significant moment of my day (considering my opinion of the subject). However, I hadn't seen Hannah since December 2009. Due to our schedules, it was just how it worked out. I went to London January 2010, and then she went abroad the following fall, leaving no time to catch up a school. Actually, we almost didn't see each other for another 7 months or so, because she is going on another studying abroad experience. Well not really study abroad. Its an immersion program where OALs (Outdoor Adventure Leadership) students at IC travel to Washington and partake in outdoorsy things for the semester. Main point was it would almost be two years before we talked face to face. As it was, we left no awkward silences in catching up. We both shared our experiences abroad, me in London and her in Korea, and remarked how crazy it is we are already juniors, when it seems like yesterday we were freshman in the same classes. Anyways, that was my nostalgia moment of the week. And Hannah, if you're reading this have a great time out West!

Day 29: I'm well educated in A&E

Significant moment of the day: A&E squashing my dream of working in a Hawaii prison.

Yep. So today (actually Saturday..but we're pretending I update these every day) after sleeping about 14 hours, I woke up and immediately went for A&E, looking for some good Criminal Minds to watch over breakfast. Instead... there was a show called 'Beyond Scared Straight". Watching show clips last night during my CMM, I figured I would watch a bit. Bah! It was so good. Basically, if you don't know what the show entails, aka you don't spend your first weekend back at school watching Criminal Minds, the show follows youth-at-risk, or teenagers in danger of ending up in prison in a few years, throughout a day trip to prison, where the kids learn what life is like on the inside through convict-lead interventions. To sum up, at one point I had wanted to work in a prison in Hawaii (basically I was curious if there were open TR positions in Hawaii and found out a prison was hiring TR's). After watching a few episodes...I'm nearly certain although working somewhere tropical would be fun I am not set out to work with inmates. Sad day. But good show. Interestingly enough the Woman's correctional episode was far more scary to me than the programs lead by Men. In summary, female criminals are scary, and A&E controls my life.

Day 28: Criminal Minds

Significant moment of the day: I became addicted to Criminal Minds.

A close contender for the significant moment of the day was definitely watching Suite Life of Zack and Cody with the roommates...and realizing all of us knew the words. Which lead to theme song sing a long. Shameful. Anyways, yes. My name is Laura, and I am a Criminal Minds addict. To be fair, I had seen a few episodes here and there. But today (when I say today I mean Friday because i suck) while sick on the couch during the first weekend back at school (win), I had my very own Criminal Minds marathon. It was both amazing and terrifying. I went to bed and checked the locks on all the windows/door on the bottom floor of the apartment. I also had to bang on the window to get some girls from dropping trouser outside my room. But thats a different story. The main point being...I love Criminal Minds.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Day 27: Oh America...what an ugly swan you are

Significant moment of the day: Yelling at Troglodytes during class

Troglodytes: a member of various people who lived or reputed to live chiefly in caves. syn: cavemen

Okay. So I didn't yell at actual cavemen. But the way they snickered at the factors of metabolism ("the harder you go blah blah blah) during Anatomy and Physiology class left no shadow of doubt in my mind that Darwin's evolutionary theory is absolute. To be fair, I don't necessarily like Anatomy and Physiology class (and I too snickered at the harder you go the faster the release the first time)... but i can respect the teacher and the class enough to sit quietly for an hour and take notes. And after about 5 times of the teacher saying that phrase...they were still laughing. And yelling out a kids name who no longer attended the class. I knew that kid no longer attended class because the students next to them who encouraged them on kept mentioning that fact AND how he also gave them free drinks at parties. I didn't want to learn it...but since they were drowning out anything the teacher had to say..that was how I spent about 40 minutes of that class. Before...I turned around and something unladylike...let us say "shut the duck up". And when they snickered at the fact they were being told to shut up, I added in my big girl voice "i am not above hitting you". I added it with a glare, and for the rest of the class they were quiet.

and people say violence is never the answer. Well violence maybe not...but threats bring peace.

Sticking along the same lines as yesterday (and when I mean yesterday I mean wednesday...I've been sick/tired to keep up.) I figured I would proclaim:

THE TOP FIVE SHOWS WHICH SHOULD'VE NEVER BEEN CREATED.

5. Flavor of Love
No. Just...no. Trashy girls fighting for the love of a trashy guy who looks like he spent half his life eating battery acid and living in a sewer?  No.
4. Jersey Shore
I do not understand why it has a cult following. And I refuse to accept the answer "its a guilty pleasure" or "it's just funny to watch how stupid they are". You know why? Because at the end of the day, you are still watching it and therefore supporting a horrible show. I challenge anyone to give me ONE redeeming quality. But you can't because in essence you have a group of un-educated promiscuous selfish idiots all vying for attention, all of which confirm everyone's stereotypical images about New Jersey. I will bet my college education the idiots who sit behind me in A&P watch this show.
3. Teen Mom/16 and Pregnant
It glamorizes teen pregnancy. The show presents it like its some sort of game of playing house, when in reality, teen pregnancy is kind of a big deal. By putting a show about teen mom's on the air it pretty much says to teens "hey if you get pregnant, at least you can get on tv". But does the show explain that teen mother's have a low expectancy of finishing high school let alone going to college? OR their children are more likely to be youth-at-risk? Nope. The fact that teen pregnancy ratings have gone up in the past few years only summarizes my point. So congrats MTV, you did it.
2. The Swan
Okay so this show was made in 2004, and its pretty much lived in my mind of one of the most terrible and superficial shows in the history of time. It was a show on Fox (shocking) that took ugly women (literally, that was the criteria) and gave them extreme makeovers with tons of plastic surgery to make them "beautiful". On every episode, two women were featured and of the two, one was sent home and one moved on to compete in "The Swan Pageant" at the end of the season. Um...do I even have to critic this one or can we all agree its an incredibly misogynistic/sexist show which instead of building women up to believe they are beautiful no matter what they look like, takes them and transforms them to fit a cookie cutter idea of beauty. The fact that this show was on for 2 full seasons and part of a third, makes me weep for humanity. Fail, America. You are an ugly swan.
1. Bridalplasty
A bridal plastic surgery competition, where 12 women compete to win dream weddings and plastic surgery. Okay. This show is pretty much The Ugly Swan...but with women who are terrible on the inside and out. At least Swan had the integrity to take women who were nice people and then transform them into Barbies. But no. On this show women create plastic-surgery wish lists and compete in wedding themed competitions to win the prize. ALSO every week the winner of the week's challenge wins an item (or pretty much a body part) off of her plastic surgery wish list. And at the end of every show, the host leaves the eliminated bride with the words "your wedding will still go on, but it just won't be perfect". Wow America... you have officially hit rock bottom.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Day 26: Only the good die young

Significant moment of the day: I applied for the camp in Scotland

Well... its official. Wednesdays are terrible. 5 classes in twelve hours is not fun. Luckily amongst the French Revolution, TR process and having a writing teacher thoroughly dislike my 6 sentence story; i found the time to apply for that volunteer camp position in Scotland. Initially, I figured it wouldnt be worth it to even apply. I mean...its only one week and the paperwork for the visa/background check would be overwhelming, granted they even accept me into the program. But then i figured... why the hell shouldn't I apply? What do I really have to lose. Nothing! So...we'll see how that goes. Fingers-crossed!

Opinion of the day: The top five television shows that went off the air far too soon.

I decided to go with this discussion for today because at this moment, I am watching one of these five fallen soldiers. The episode is called Death Defying. My question is..which of the five series listed has this episode? I'll give whoever comments on this first a prize. Anyways...here are the five tv shows that ended far too soon.

5.The Adventures of Brisco County Junior
Bruce Campbell + Science Fiction+ Socrates Poole = Best Western television show ever. I mean...that show had something for everyone. The series only ran for 27 episodes on Fox but it was so entertaining. I still have half the series to watch but if its anywhere near as good as the first 14 episodes, I don't really need to finish the series to know it ended too soon.

4. Dead like Me
What does an actress from Gone with the Wind, the inventor of leg warmers, a british drug addict, Inigo Montoya have in common? Uh... they're all grim reapers? Yes. Running for two seasons,  this show had so many loose ends they never tied up which drives me crazy. Also, the memory of this great show was tarnished by the terrible 2009 movie that followed the grim reapers five years after the series ended.

 3. Freaks and Geeks

Um.. Jason Segel, James Franco, Seth Rogen, and my future husband John Francis Daley? Need I say more. Nope.... but I will! Its such a great depiction of high school that it never gets old. Its just hilarious overall. One season of pure comic genius and 8o's-tastic lifestyle. Happy days.

2. Firefly
Along the same lines as Brisco County Jr....its genre is....a space western. I mean...thats just two unconquered frontiers the characters have to deal with. This show had such an amazing cast, and a great mix of action, adventure and comedy. This show remains one of my top ten favorite shows after just one season. Plus, Serenity (its follow-up movie) was wicked good.

1. Pushing Daisies
A tv series about a pie-maker who can wake the dead with the touch of his finger, but only for a minute otherwise something else must die in its place. Teaming up with a private eye to solve crimes, throw in an unconventional romance, and a few musical numbers? TV Gold. This tv series was so enchanting and made every episode incredible with its animation, writing and acting. I wish I could reawaken this series with the touch of a finger...I mean. I can by using the DVD player...but its not the same.

Also... can I just say:
1) poor Bryan Fuller. Pushing Daisies and Dead Like Me were both his creations and they are brilliant. He also created a show called Wonderfalls, which is on my list of shows I need to see.
2) Fox is pretty much determined to ruin every good show in existence. Firefly and Brisco County? Plus Drive, Fringe... and plenty more.

Stupid Fox.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Day 25: Maybe my posts wouldn't be so lame if i did them at a decent hour...?

Significant moment of the day: Phone interview for a summer internship in Georgia? Heck yes!

Oh look at me, I'm growing. I had my first phone interview today for a position relevant to what I want to do in my life (hopefully). You know, I like phone interviews. I literally woke up, made coffee and answered the phone. No getting dressed up or awkward conversations about finding the place. Just me sitting on my bed, hair a tumble and a pair of sweats.

In all honesty, i think the interview went well. Although now that I say that, I've probably doomed myself. Yikes, bikes. Oh well. I'm trying not to get too invested because if i don't get the position, it isn't the end of the world. Plus, its in Georgia... for ten weeks. ALSO I just found a camp for children with terminal diseases in SCOTLAND. Which combines two of my favorite things... Scotland and working with kids with terminal diseases. So that may be an option. Although that is only one week...
Best camp ever. 
Anyways, thats my life. Besides that first week of school is going by extremely slow... I'm going to start looking for a job for the semester... while I'm looking for work this summer. Fun.

Opinion of the day: I miss summer

Not that there will probably be a summer to miss this year. If i do my job correctly, I will be working either in Georgia, Scotland (yes, please), Connecticut, Boston or Maine. Possibly a combo of more than one. But nevertheless, I seriously miss summer.

Its not even the no-school aspect that makes summer great...its the warm weather, read a book on the beach, lie out in the sun for hours, meet up with friends for hours that makes it the best season. The fact that it was 28 degrees today and it felt warm to me is just plain sad.

I miss this feeling. 
Winter is just depressing. After Christmas and New Years, i would be perfectly happy transitioning into spring then and there. Wouldn't that be awesome? January first, a lovely snow storm. On January second, all the snow would be melted, the weather would be warm and the flowers would be in bloom. There would probably be serious repercussions in other areas of the world (like monster hurricanes) but it would be nice.

Instead we get 3 months of grey weather and skies that never seem to know what they want to do. Its cold, black boots must remain hidden to avoid the stupid salt stains and everyone gets fat. Its just terrible.

Maybe Georgia is my top pick after all. At least they have peaches.
Well...not these peaches. But still good.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Day 24: How would George Orwell feel about talking baby advertisements?

Significant moment of the day: First day of classes, spring semester

A big woot. Except, not really. You know this semester is going to be terrible when you're already stressed and you just finished the first day of classes. Oh boy this should be interesting. I mean, I actually like the classes I am/will be taking.  Three are repeats of the fall semester (as in its a year long course, not i fail at life) and the three others should be good. Intro to creative writing, The Old Regime and the French Revolution (so pumped!) and Admin of TR (meh..but its once a week with people i work well with). So thats me in a nutshell. Good times. Sorry if this post is less than my chipper self. i just spent the past two hours filling out job applications for the summer/preparing for a pre-screen interview for a TR internship in Georgia. Bah! Wish me luck!

Although as much fun as Georgia would be, I kind of want a job in New England so I can either live at home or in the city. Plus I wouldn't have to fly up for a certain couple's wedding. hem hem. Anyways...hopefully i get SOMETHING this summer which relates to TR. I may volunteer with Make a Wish as one of the people who come up with how to grant the wishes. Like a genie.

I could be a GENIE this summer. PERFECT.

Anyways... I really need to start thinking of more opinions/ ideas/ lists for these daily updates. I feel like I am in a slump. I mean...first day of classes for the second half of junior year? Not exactly what I had in mind when I wanted to make each day count. Who knows, though. Maybe tomorrow I'll ski blind folded or piss off some homeless people downtown.

The world is my oyster.

Opinion of the day: Talking baby commercials and how they will lead to America's downfall.

Okay. Honestly, I don't understand why companies use talking babies. They are NOT cute. Babies should not have monotone adult male voices, pretend to be adults or try to sell phones. It's creepy, its awkward and its just plain bad advertising. I mean, its the whole misspelled business signs all over again. Those advertisements actually make me NOT want to buy that product... just for the sole purpose that the company goes out of business and as a result I don't have to watch a baby pretend to check its fantasy football scores on its phone. I mean, why do companies think thats a good pitch? It just makes their product look childish.

Maybe they are running under the whole, its so easy a child can do it. But then thats just depressing in itself especially when it comes to smartphones. Because the sad thing is...some children have already mastered the phone by the time they are 4. And that scares the bajesus out of me. Because as great as technology is... we are becoming too reliant on it. This upcoming generation? Is already so invested in technology. Most parents buy pretty much all electronic/technology friendly games, toys, learning devices for their toddlers, babies, tweens and teens. The Ipad was named the "best children's product of 2010". That's terrifying. I wouldn't trust myself with that and you're just going to hand it over to a 3 year old so he can learn his ABC's on a touchscreen? No good.

This image...NO GOOD
If there is an apocalypse anytime soon and technology is wiped out...I honestly fear for the next generation. They won't know how to do ANYTHING. At least when I was growing up we still went outdoors and knew how to have fun without computers, TV's, etc. No wonder the nation is obese, and life expectancy is starting to drop.

All because of talking adut-baby commercials. True story.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Day 23: Pack it up.

Significant moment of the day: I FINALLY watched Lord of the Rings after about 3 months of wanting to watch it.

No help from Sarah, btw. I watched a portion of the Two Towers on TNT today and then visited two of my favorite people at IC, who are conveniently living in the same apartment with the same name :) and convinced them to watch the first half of the first movie. Good times, good times.

Also significant moment of the day? THE JETS LOSING! ne ner ne ner. I'm mature i know.

Anyways.......discussion of the day? My pick for the superbowl champion.

So on day 16, I predicted the Superbowl game would be Packers vs. Steelers. and I was right! Today, I predict my champion Superbowl pick:

The Packers.

To be fair, the Packers season was 10-6, while the Steelers was 12-4. But records aren't everything. However, the Packers have won the most Superbowl championships in NFL history. Their last victory was in 1996, which makes me think they are due for another win. Yes, the Steelers won two years ago, and have a record of star seasons these past few years. But thats also their weakness. They get cocky. Not as cocky as some teams hemjetshem, but they do tend to boast. Hey with their records, who can really blame them?

But in the end, I think a lot of people are underestimating the Packers. In the playoffs, they defeated the Eagles, and the Falcons (both of which were division leaders). During regular season, they were strong contenders against some of the strongest teams in the NFL;beating the Jets and the Giants among others.

So in conclusion, if the Packers pull it off this season, i'll be cheesin'.

Day 22: "I've been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library."-Great Gatsby

Significant moment of the day: Set a new driving record!

While driving back to lovely Ithaca today, I did something magical. I made it there in about 5 hours and 20 minutes, which broke my earlier record of 5 hours 35 minutes. Yay! I only stopped twice on the journey, once to get a coffee and bathroom break, and once to pump gas. Great success. Now I am back at school and ready to hit the books. Probably physically, its going to be a difficult semester and i'll need something to vent on. God knows thats not what blogs are for....sarcasm.

Anyways, speaking of books..my last post i talked about my 5 least favorite books we read in high school. Here is my list of my 5 favorite books we read in school.

5. Animal Farm
Animal farm was one of the first books that made me start to enjoy learning about history. George Orwell's portrayal of the Russian Revolution by using farm animals made me so interested in that time period, it was the first time i went outside the classroom to learn more about a history subject. Whenever I hear the quote "You either die a hero, or live long enough to become the villain" i think of this book. I mean, four legs good, two legs bad? Bah....ram ewe.
Rating: 3.5 stars

4. Night
One of the most depressing books i will ever read, but i don;t regret reading it for a minute. There is so much we will never know about the Holocaust, but this book shows one side of it, as well as the power of human nature in general. An incredible, true story which is a must-read for anyone and everyone.
Rating: 4 stars

3. Huckleberry Finn
Controversial, I know. I wrote an earlier post about the censorship of Huck Finn and I still stand by it. Yes, it is rough around the edges, but that is why it is such a critical book to read. It shows how words are more than skin deep, and how they affect the relationships in our lives. Its a raw tale about a young white male and a runaway black slave. Initially, the relationship is portrayed as many people have learned in history of the Old South, but as the book progresses so does the relationship and the understanding between the two characters who seem to have nothing in common. Also Mark Twain is a genius satirical writer.
Rating: 4 stars

2. The Great Gatsby
One of my favorite books of all time, its one of those classics you either love it, or you hate it. But seeing as it takes place in the 1920s, its kind of hard for me not to love it. The characters are so real, its always hard for me to decide whether I love Daisy or hate her. I'm never completely sure either way. The story is so tragic but, a passionate one.
Rating: 4.5 stars

1. To Kill a Mockingbird
Shocking I know, seeing as it is my favorite book. The imagery, time period, characters and subject matter are so well written and interwoven, I haven't encountered a person who didn't enjoy this book. It is the perfect coming of age story, from the eyes of a young Southern girl. The story is about compassion, prejudice, and learning that life isn't always fair.
Rating: 5 stars

Day 21: My books of grievances

Significant moment of the day: playing in the snow!

Okay...its two days late. But i've had a crazy 48 hours of packing, cleaning, organizing and traveling. But yes, two days ago, I did frollic in the snow. To be fair, I was with Poppy, who is still on a leash, and the snow was super high. As a result, it was less a frolic and more of a whimsical trudge. Alas alack. It was fun, we whimsically trudged in the woods and on the giant snow banks. I even made a snow angel, which i havent done in years. I wouldve gone sledding in my backyard, but at a certain age sledding solo just becomes sad. Then again I had to shovel for about an hour so maybe next time i'll just suck it up and be a solo sledder.

Anyways...opinion of the day: My top five least favorite books I read in high school.

So whilst I've been cleaning I have been finding all sorts of goods around hidden corners. Old notes, drawings and a few essays. Which got me thinking...how much i disliked many of the reading assignments we had to do. Here's the begrudged list:


5. Hamlet
Okay, here's the thing. I didn't actually mind Hamlet. Although he is incredibly indecisive, which always is a huge pet peeve of mine. But that character flaw adds to the development of the story, so boo hiss. No the thing I didn't like is that we spent over a month on this one book. Unnecessary. There are only so many ways you can interpret 'to be or not to be'. Also, I'm probably going to get an onslaught of angry messages of FB wall posts but...I'm not the biggest fan of William Shakespeare. Let me clarify. I can respect his imagination and characters... but i feel like there a certain books where he just didn't try (Romeo and Juliet....come on) or was lazy and copied from an earlier book he wrote but changed the name and setting. And it reeeeeally bothers me how much people discuss how critical he was to English literature. Yes, he was important, people but he isn't the bloody messiah. It especially bothers me when people just mention a Shakespeare as one of their favorite books. Because I swear 9 times out of 10, they are just saying it to sound well-read or enlightened. Maybe I doth protest too much.
Rating: 3 stars

4. Kite Runner
Yes, it was well written. Yes it was a good story and setting. But I'm sorry, I hated the main character, so much. Maybe its because you're supposed to hate him a for what he did or didn't do. But even at the end, when he FINALLY makes some sort of amends, I still couldn't stand him.I thought he was a jerk through and through and he only did something remotely helpful or considerate when it would benefit himself. Plus, after he grew up the plot and tempo dragged so much. So Khaled Hosseini I don't know whether to shake your hand for creating such an illustrative character that I can harbor feelings towards, or just shake my head in haughty disapproval. I'll go with the latter because you did have nice imagery.
Rating: 2.5 stars

3. Catcher in the Rye
Once again, I hate the main character. So so much. And maybe that's the point. But he's just a jackass. Yes, i can understand he has felt lost since the death of his brother. And it is a relatable feeling to not know where you belong in the world, or what you do. But the answer is not asking "where do the ducks, go", or 'necking' in taxis or call everyone a frickin phony. No. You get up every morning, be nice to people and actually TRY to make a difference in the world. Because something tells me if your brother HADN'T died, that's what he'd be doing. Grow up, you stupid phony.
Rating: 2 stars

2. Scarlett Letter
Oy. Here's the thing about the Scarlet Letter. It has a really good plot, right? Wife commits adultery with a priest in the Puritan era and has his child and is therefore scorned by society. Priest obviously can't say anything, and no one knows its his; but he carries a love for Hester and his daughter for years. Then, the husband returns and realizes, hey that child isn't mine that's impossible and sets out to figure out who exactly is the father of his wife's child. Throw in some witches and a devil child...you'd should have an incredible book right? FALSE. Nathaniel Hawthorn manages to take this plot, which could write itself, and he turns it into the most boring piece of literature ever. He takes 5 pages to describe a tree or the forest, and the is casually like 'oh and hey there's the governor's crazy maiden sister coming back from meeting the devil in the woods...woods? Let's talk about THAT for the rest of the book instead'. FAIL.
Rating: 5 stars for initial plot, 2 stars for Natahniel Hawthorn bludgeoning awesomeness in the face with a blunt stick (that he describes for another 3 minutes)

1. Beowulf
Do I really need to explain why this book is awful? If there really is a question, go rent the 2007 version of Beowulf and that will truly end the conversation.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Day 20: Taking the EZ way out

Significant moment of the day: Helping a woman create memories for her granddaughter

I went back to hospice today. I worked with a woman who has been fighting breast cancer for nearly ten years. She's been through hell and back. And today? I helped her record Hallmark books to give to her granddaughter. It wasn't easy for her, or for me to get her to do it. But for the hour I was there, we managed to get through one book. I learned so much about her life, struggle and survival. When I left today, not knowing if i would ever see that woman again, I knew I shouldn't give up on therapeutic recreation. Because God knows I wouldn't want a patient to give up either.

and on a completely different note.....

Y illitericy maykes mi naht wahnt two bye Amurrican.



Okay, the above statement may be a bit of an exaggeration. But we've all seen the signs for businesses like EZ mart, Kwik Fill, or Soap N Sudz. And my question is...why?

Why do companies think that misspelling a word is appealing to customers? That it in some way is clever and creative? Because its not. Its just plain dumb, and makes me to make a poignant effort not to shop there. Maybe its to save money on lettering. But I doubt it.

Here's the way I see it. Either:

A) Companies think somehow miss-spelling words makes its business more appealing to the general middle class public. Think about it. Do you see misspelled establishments on Newbury Street or 5th avenue? No. But on the interstate towns? They're more common than flies on a windshield. Why? To appeal the masses that pass by it. In all honesty, I think companies develop a business' image to look more like an Average Joe establishment rather than a Fortune 500. That way, people aren't intimidated or put off to shop there. But if misspelling words or misusing grammar is really the strategy used to attract the general public, I'm insulted.

B) If they can't spell out a word, or spell it incorrectly, what can they do? Seriously. If you spell Quick "Kwik"... you should not be fit to run a business or give customers a service.  I realize that illiteracy is an issue in America, but come on. Maybe some children SHOULD be left behind until they properly know the difference between "to" and "2". Until then, I will not promote illiteracy than pumping my gas at Kum N' Goes (one because thats a new level of sad, and two I don't want to know what is being pumped in to my car).
Just covering the bases?
In conclusion, if businesses want my patronage, they better start using spell check. Until then, I'll spend a little more time and money across the street at a business that has clearly been hooked on Phonics.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Day 19: Come for the bad day special, stay for the Mr. Rogers message.

Significant moment of the day: getting a tractor stuck in the middle of a field, having to detangle christmas lights first from a horse's mouth and then from its tail while it runs around me frantic, trying to get three horses to play nice while avoiding being trampled, almost breaking a stall door and realizing I could've had it worse.

Yea. My work day WAS GREAT. A typical work day at the barn is usually 3.5 hours in the winter. Today? 5.5 hours. Although not as significant as the above events, we should also include spending a half hour coaxing a horse out of her stall, and 10 minutes trying to get a horse back into his stall at the end of the day and generally trying to accomplish all of these while it was raining. ALSO to be included in the day? My car (Dr. Paul) deciding to take a sick day. To sum up, today finished up try-to-survive-take-a-scalding-shower-get-into-sweats-grab-a-book-and-a-glass-of-wine significant moment.

Opinion of the day: don't sweat the small stuff or you'll become a sponge.

Despite the woe is me nature of this post which is pretty much just me venting my frustration, I want to try and keep things in perspective. Yes, there were several times within these mishaps I was almost crying. When I finally finished the day, and I got in the car, (which i borrowed from my parents) I considered crying. But tears didn't come to me. Why? Because I didn't need them. As bad as the day was, it could've been ten times worse. I could've broken my leg, been trampled to death (not gonna lie it was a possibility a couple times) or one of the horses (there are 6 by the way) could've been hurt. While crying tends to be a go-to when frustration arises, I realized today that there really is no use crying out of frustration after the moment passes. In the moment? Maybe. Sometimes it helps. But after you say goodbye to the day? How does it help?
Mr Rogers is gonna take it home, guys. 
Consider it like this. When you cut an onion and it causes your eyes to tear up, its frustrating, yes? But once the onion is cut, the tears are dried and the pain is gone... does it still make sense to cry? No.

I realized it was the same for the chain of events that happened. When the day was done, I felt tired, frustrated and crabby. But not sad. I managed to free the tractor from the field's snowy death grip/the brake I had neglected to take off,  I coaxed the stubborn horse from the stall, dodged out of the way when the other horse eventually decided to enter his stall at breakneck speed, and overall I managed to keep all the horses safe. Had I been crying or upset during these mishaps, things could've gone much worse. To be fair, I had been extremely panicky when the horse got caught in the lights, but then something in me snapped and I realized that ONE of us had to stay calm. So I stepped it up.

Anyways, that was what I learned today. Instead of crying, I blasted the radio (it was nice because the speakers aren't busted like in Dr. Paul), and sang at the top of my lungs. I took that hot shower, i got in comfy clothes and read for the rest of the night with chocolate and wine. Somehow I feel this was the better option that a stuffy noise, red eyes, kleenex and a lost cause for tears.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Day 18: Tag! George Clooney's it!

Significant moment of the day: Completed a TAG actor movie marathon!

#1 Start us off, David Spade
It was spectacular. Technically it started last night, but i hadn't decided to include it in the game until this morning. But when the snow first hit and then the ice, it only seemed natural to do. Here's how it went.
Started with Tommy Boy, continued with Emperor's New Groove, moved on to O Brother, Where Art thou, then One Fine Day, then Friends Season 3 Episode 10, continued with Friends Season 2 episode 3, and last but not least we finished the marathon with Billy Madison. Mission accomplished.

Now, you may be asking how in the world do these movies/tv shows add up to a movie marathon?! True, they look like they have nothing in common; no common genre, plot or actor. But that's where you're wrong...

Opinion of the day: Explaining the significance of the day

#2 You're IT, John Goodman
For those of you who don't know, a TAG actor movie viewing is when you watch one movie and then watch another movie with an actor who overlaps from the former film. Hence, you *tag one person who is then "it". The key to urning this activity into a marathon? That's the tricky part. You have to start with one movie, and end with that movie. Aka, you have to play tag until you get back to the original player.
#3 Third times a charmer...George Clooney is IT


If you're still confused, here's how its done:
Tommy Boy. first tagged actor: David Spade
Emperor's New Groove: David Spade tags John Goodman
O Brother: John Goodman tags in George Clooney
One Fine Day: George Clooney tags in Mae Whitman
Friends S3 E10: Mae Whitman tags in Matthew Perry
Friends S2 E3: Matthew Perry tags in Larry Hankin
Billy Madison: Larry Hankin tags in Chris Farley
Tommy Boy: Chris Farley tags in David Spade

Genius, no? To be fair, if you haven't heard of this concept, I'm pretty sure i made it up. Its wicked fun but also incredibly hard. You kind of need a whole day to do this. Hence, why is was perfect to day with this weather. Although I did go the British Beer Company with my parents for dinner. If you haven't been its GREAT. Anyways, if you have free time and you know your movie collection pretty well, here are the rules:

1. No actor can appear in more than 2 movies (because then its just an actor movie marathon).
2. Sequels are only allowed if separated by at least one movie
3. You must be able to tag an actor in every movie and make it back to the start to consider the movie marathon completed.
4. You can use tv shows, but for every episode, you have to have at least two movies
#4 Mae Whitman's up... although I'd rather tag George Clooney again.
Also, if you want to be fancy, The TAG actor movie marathon has a point system. Obviously, the more points you get the better you do. Here's the point system:
1. You get one point for EVERY movie included in the marathon (if you watch 7 movies, 7 points)
2. TV Episodes are 1/2 point.
3. You receive one point (1/2 point for tv episode) for any actor (besides tagged) that appears in more than one film in the marathon. However, remember if ANY actor appears in more than two films, that movie is VOID.
4. BONUS: if you watch a movie on VHS, you get a point.

To demonstrate, let us look at the Tag actor movie marathon completed:
Tommy Boy on VHS (2 points)
Emperor's New groove on VHS (2 points)
O Brother, where art thou on VHS (2 points)
One Fine Day on VHS (2 points)
-Charles Durning plays Lew in One Fine Day/Papi O'Daniel in O Brother, where art thou? (1 point)
-Michael Badalucco plays Lt. Bonomo in One Fine Day/George Nelson in O Brother (1 point)
Friends Season 3 Episode 10 on VHS (1.5 point)
Friends Season 2 Episode 3 on VHS (1.5 point)
-Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matt Leblanc, Lisa Kudrow, James Michael Taylor all appear in Friends Season 3 Episode 10 alongside *tagged Matthew Perry (3.5 points)
Billy Madison on VHS (2 point)
#6 Matthew Perry (and Jennifer Aniston) clearly pretending to be VCR's
all on VHS. I know. Damn impressive. In total, this Tag Actor Movie Marathon was 18.5. Not bad.
#6. THIS GUY. Not bad.
I'd like to see you beat it :)
#7 Chris Farley. Finishing it off right. 

Day 17: Brinner is not better.

Significant moment of the day: I won the book in a bag contest!


Well, I was in third place with 61 votes. But its still exciting especially because I get a signed copy of a new book in a bag I designed. *Happy dance. By the way, Lauren Willig? Is wicked nice. Or whoever writes her emails. But I'd like to assume its Lauren Willig. Thanks to anyone who went on the site and voted for me. If you read the series, you are more than welcome to borrow my copy when I finish it :)

Anyways....opinion of the day: Brinner.

There are many things in life I have strong opinions or feelings towards. Over the course of this year, I am sure you will learn them all. But one of the strongest feelings I have in life is for my serious dislike of breakfast foods for dinner. (Brinner).

I don't know how it happened, or where the idea came from; but ever since I was a little kid I have hated the idea of breakfast foods for dinner. My poor parents. Most kids I know though Brinner was such a treat. But I have very strong memories of refusing to eat breakfast food that was placed in front of me when it was clearly not morning. I would refuse to eat any breakfast food after 12 o'clock (as I entered high school i changed that to 2 hours after waking up). I just thought it was the grossest concept in the world.  Even now while I write this, I feel sick and nauseated by the idea. I really have no idea why. I have no rules or issues with any other meal like their time frame or content.  Brinner is just weird.

THE RULES OF BRINNER:
1. Breakfast lasts up to two hours after awakening. After that you must wait until the following day.
2. Cereal MAY be eaten as a snack outside the two hour limit but ONLY if there is no milk in the bowl.
3. Toast may be eaten as a snack outside the two hour limit but ONLY if there is butter on it and not jam.
4. Bagels may be eaten outside the time limit but ONLY if it is used as a substitute for bread in a sandwich. If there is cream cheese or egg on it, no go.
5. These foods are strictly breakfast and therefore may not be eaten after breakfast at any time for any reason: muffins, doughnuts, whole eggs (not used in baking), pancakes, waffles, french toast, sausages (turkey).

I have issues. I know.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Day 16: A new public enemy #1.

Significant moment of the day: Realizing that the New York Giants are no longer my least favorite team.

I know. It took me by surprise too. It was like that scene in How the Grinch Stole Christmas? You know, where the grinch says "maybe christmas doesn't come from a store, maybe christmas means a little bit more"? And then he dies?! Well not really...except there would be serious health complications if you're heart was enlarged like three times its size in a matter of 1 minute. Anyways, i came to this realization when i shouted "i'd rather lose to Eli manning and the Giants than Mark Sanchez and the Jets, because at least the Giants respect the game and their opponents!"

It was like a brick hit me in the chest. After Superbowl XLII, I thought the Giants would be my #1 enemy until the end of time. I still can barely talk about that game without being upset. But after becoming close friends with a Giants fan (believe me, it wasn't easy for either of us) and just watching the development of this rivalry since the beginning of the season, I realized my dislike for the Jets is much more justified by their actions, rather than their records.


Reason #1: Rex Ruthor

Rex Ryan, or Rex Ruthor as I have decided to call him...is a jackass. He doesn't have one ounce of professionalism in his body, he smack talks more than he advises his players and honestly he acts more like a used car salesman making a pitch than an actual coach both on and off the field.  Him and Bill Belichick's coaching methods differ like day and night. Whether they come off with a win or a lose, Belichick doesn't let the game go to his player's heads, but focuses their attention on the next game. He keeps a cool and level head, and expects his players to do the same. He never smack talks, he just focuses on the next match. In conclusion he's a professional.

Reason #2: Calm the frack down.
Whenever the Jets score, make a good block or a successful pass they feel the need to make a huge show of it. They flex, they yell into cameras, they jump up and down...they do backflips. Its annoying, its rude and its just plain tacky.

Reason #3: Jets Fans.
Jets fans are the embodiment of reasons #1 and #2. Need I say more?

Now let me set this straight. I am BY NO MEANS becoming a fan of the Giants. This just means there a team I dislike even more (which i never thought would be possible). Why? I can actually respect the Giants.

Do you know how you can tell you cheer for a good team? When you meet new people and explain where your loyalty lies in the NFL they reply with how much they hate that team, that coach or the quarterback. If when you say who you cheer for and the person says "oh okay"...you're a decent team. Not great, but good. The worst is if you say and the person say "ohhh i'm sorry". Thats when you know you're cheering a faulty team.

So if someone says "I'm a Giants fan" to me I usually squint and say something like "oooh we can't be friends". If a fan is super committed I'll add a Feline Manning and make a comparison to a pre-pubescent girl reference. They usually make a similar one to Brady. And that's how I know that we both have good teams.

But with Jets fans its different. Usually because the only smack talk they can add to the conversation (ironic) is that one time the Patriots were caught cheating, while a New England fan can muster a good thirty remarks concerning Superbowl III, Rex Ruthor, or our numerous RECENT Superbowl wins.
And that's how I know this rivalry is only growing.

Concerning the next few games, I hope the Steelers beat the crap out of the Jets next Sunday. I predict the Packers will win the NFC Championship, making the Superbowl match Packers vs. Steelers. And if that's the case, go Packers! As long as someone puts Sanchez and his merry band of neanderthals in their place i'll be happy.

Let the games begin.

Day 15: Well haven't we fallen down the rabbithole.

Significant moment of the day: Working on my screenplay!

For those who do not know, I am writing a screenplay with the lovely and talented Sam Hossler. We've been working on the script for over a year now, and its really coming along. Anyways I made really good strides on it by editing and adding some scenes to create more accessible characters and plot lines. Yay progress!

Speaking of progress if anyone hasn't voted on the Lauren Willig website where I designed a contest entry, and still wants to be a cool kid they should click on this link:
Right here! The contest ends today and I really want a free book and tote bag. If we're friends, I'll share?

Opinion of the day:  Curiouser and curiouser...i was wrong?!

Well earlier in the day I posted my Day 14 shenanigans because I was very tired. In the post i discussed the  various disorders and ailments of all Disney Princesses and how evidently every strong female role in Disney must either have a serious sometimes non-resolved flaw, or share their movie title with a male counterpart. In the end I came to the conclusion that the only lead female role in Disney which:
A) wasn't a princess (although she was honorary)
B)  didn't share her movie title
C) didn't have a disorder/flaw/disease

and that was Mulan (yay Mulan!). However I was wrong (gasp!) I know, its a rare thing for me to admit when it comes to Disney. The lovely Allegra pointed out I was missing a Disney heroine who made it through all her obstacles without a male counterpart, was the title character AND wasn't a disney princess.

Alice, from Alice in Wonderland.  

Well first I tried arguing that she took drugs to make her shrink and grow, she often relied on the Cheshire cat, and she was obsessed with the white rabbit...(all drug-suggestive btw)

But in the end, she passed the test. For starters, everything that happens to her happens in a dream or alternative universe so really its not her flaws portrayed, but the conscious state of mind she is in. Also, the point of the Lewis Carroll book was to illustrate from a child's point of view the confusing journey of coming of age into an adult society where social etiquette is highly regarded, but sometimes viewed as ridiculous. In the story, Lewis Carroll meant for the character Alice to be the one to ask "why" in concern to what rules people blindly follow in society. In the end, Alice understands the rules to Wonderland society as strange as they may be, before she realizes its all a "pack of cards". And when she wakes up she is no longer a child, but is ready to face the challenges of adult society.

So yea. That makes two worthy lead Disney female characters. I guess you could say "It's the most curious thing I ever said in my life!"

And that's saying something, since i've seen a cat without a grin, and a grin without a cat.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Day 14: Honor to us all?

Significant moment of the day: Befriending the cashier at Subway.

It was great. He gave me a rewards card shaped like a sandwich and also took two dollars off of the purchase. He also complimented me on my choices for "fixins". To be fair, it was 1 am in the morning, and if i had to make people's sandwiches at such an hour I'd probably be chipper too. I was also wearing starshaped sunglasses and blasting disney soundtracks out of my ipod...to see if it would phase the sandwich artist. It didn't.

And they say chivalry is dead.

Speaking of disney....
Opinion of the day: D is for delusional, I is for insane, S is for Stolkholm, N is for necrophilia, E is for emotional and Y is for Your childhood memories slightly changed?......... Princess.

Its funny how watching old disney movies, you pick up on things you would've never noticed as a 6 year old. Most are sexual innuendos, but on occasion a diagnosis is in order. Interestingly enough, these only seem to happen in Disney Princess movies and the trend continues in newer films such as Tangled, & Princess and the Frog. In fact, I will make the argument that every disney princess has a mental/behavioral disorder or physical condition. Let's do this...



Snow White (Snow White) - Coma


Cinderella (Cinderella) - Perthes disease during childhood (freakishly small feet)
Aurora (Sleeping beauty) - Narcolepsy (she also trusts strangers... which is a party foul)
Ariel (The Little Mermaid)- Hoarding

Belle (Beauty and the Beast)- Stockholm syndrome

Pocahontas (Pocahontas)- Schizophrenia 

Giselle (Enchanted)- ADHD

Tiana (Princess and the Frog)- Workaholism

Rapunzel (Tangled)-Agoraphobia
I left out Jasmine because in the other movies I listed, the disney princess is the primary role and not just the love interest. But if i had to diagnose her I'd say bipolar... she runs reeeally hot and cold. I also didn't include Mulan because she is considered an "honorary princess" in the Disney franchise since she technically has no royal claims but is still considered a role model to young girls. She also has no outward flaws like the ones I listed aside from dressing up like a warrior to save her family... but that's just awesome. Maybe if she was a full fledged princess Disney would've made her cross-dressing a chronic condition. Nevermind.

Anyways it's weird. Especially because the lead male roles in disney movies which marry or are royalty do not have similar conditions. Hercules' flaw is he gives up his superstrength to save the girl he loves for one day, Aladdin is trying to become rich and a prince, Kuzco is selfish, Robin Hood steals from the rich to feed the poor. ALL OF THESE ISSUES ARE RESOLVED BY THE END OF THE MOVIE.


Rapunzel overcomes her fear of the outside (otherwise it wouldve been a very boring movie). Snow White and Sleeping Beauty's are kind of solved except Snow White's prince has a tendency to kiss people in coffins and Sleeping Beauty STILL trusts strangers. But aside from that, Belle is still with her captor, Tiana works her ass off to get her restaurant off the ground, Pocahontas is still talking to trees, Giselle's running around NYC, I assume Ariel found some place to hoard crap in that castle, and Cinderella still has freakishly small feet.

So the main question is why do Disney princesses need a flaw? I'm not even going to put out that EVERY disney princess must be married by the end of the movie or have a male counterpart to live happily ever after with while the disney males can ride off into the sunset without a "how do you do". I'm also not going to include that there have only been two lead females in disney movies who haven't been princesses (aside from Mulan)...Lady (the cocker spaniel from Lady and the Tramp) and Lilo (from Lilo and Stitch). As you can see, even then they share the title with the male lead role.

In conclusion, Mulan is clearly the victor because she's not a princess and therefore doesn't have a chronic condition, she doesn't share her movie title with anyone and she is not a dog or a small child.
Mulan brought honor to us all.